Still, none of those things dimmed my excitement for what was supposed to be the best four o’clock signing session of my career. My top two PR clients left me for my number one competitor, my roommate accidentally bleached my best suit, and my favorite coffee shop was shut down for “health concerns.” I also find it hard to believe you “usually wear silk or lingerie.” Your drawers are all full of cotton granny panties–The best man you’ve ever fucked… ) You orgasmed three times, and that was before we made it to your bedroom. (And this asshole actually left a note: “I think you were lying to me about being “experienced” last night. I woke up five hours late after a reckless one-night stand with the sexiest, cockiest, and most arrogant man I’ve ever met. Today is officially the worst day of my life…
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